Poop.

Clearly, we are going to be perfect parents. We have watched as other people's children – probably yours- have rebelled with earth shattering meltdowns in the most public of places and smugly passed judgment and whispered about how we would have parented so much better in that situation. God, we are awful people.

Today, it began to sink in that our day may actually come. The day when some other bratty know-it-all young couple watches and judges us at our darkest moment because our kid was the one without the swimmy diaper…because we were the parents who thought our kid was potty-trained….because our sweet innocent baby was the one who caused the subtle pointing and not so subtle command, “Clear the pool…POOP!”

How have we gone all these years and never needed to evacuate the pool for poop and now on the precipice of parenthood, someone else’s kid had to let us know that we could potentially even screw up a day at the pool for hundreds of other people? I guess we should be grateful; after all, it wasn’t our kid pooping in the pool. It was still one of yours and we could still walk away in the fantasy world where we are perfect parents with kids who never poop in the pool.